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Clutch of a Falcon

by The Sane Riot

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1.
Clutch of a Falcon 05:08
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2.
JUNE JAM 04:52
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3.
Don't Play God 04:44
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4.
SlowRunner 06:59
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5.
Hello? 01:11
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6.
KEVIN 02:36
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7.
Sofa Bass 02:04
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8.
Rightous Revolt 02:12
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9.
FastWalkers 09:33
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10.
Can Jerry Jam or Nah? 14:34
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11.
KEVIN (Punk Version) 06:30
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about

Just what is CLUTCH OF A FALCON? Lemme tell you what it is. It’s the rawest, loosest collection of RAW LOOSE GARAGE ROCK JAMS that you’re ever gonna hear. We’re talking 1 hour and 1 minute of pure, unadulterated ROCK N ROLL. 61 minutes! That’s enough to fill one CD, two vinyl LPs, or 659 megabytes (when it’s in WAV format). But what exactly does it SOUND like? Well, just sit back, relax and lemme describe it to you, my friend.

So, CLUTCH OF A FALCON is kinda like a metaphor for life, in a way. You relax when life is easy for most of the year, but then summer rolls around and you get yourself in a real JUNE JAM. So, what’s the best way to get yourself out of that? Well, it’s very important that you DON’T PLAY GOD, and you just let things happen as they happen. Act like those SLOWRUNNERS, who run slowly. Now, this may not always work. Keep that in mind. You may get someone breaking into your house at 3am screaming “HELLO? Where are you? And where did my life go wrong?” And in situations, you just need to stay calm. And also keep a weapon nearby at all times, because that someone who broke into your house is actually KEVIN, your high school rival who wants you dead after you publicly embarrassed him at prom. Twice.

Now of course, that’s not something that’s very likely to happen. It’s more likely that you may need to record some music of your own instead, in which case you’d need a SOFA BASS, which is kinda like a normal bass but comfier. If you have one of those in your possession, then you can take a stand and stage a RIGHTEOUS REVOLT against the modern world, while also just laying down some sick basslines and maybe a cover of the Seinfeld theme. Doing that might just make you famous. And if you’re famous, then your life is easy, nothing bad ever happens to you. Ever. At this point you may want to start taking after the FASTWALKERS, who walk fast. They get where they need to in life, so you really can’t go wrong by imitating them. Doing so may eventually get you some really good gigs and a really cool manager named Jerry, who may also try and sabotage your music career to take the credit for himself. If that happens, you’ll just have to challenge him to a dual, in which you’ll need to ask yourself a very important question: CAN JERRY JAM OR NAH? The answer to this question is probably nah, as managers are often not very good musicians themselves.

So, you now have all the fame and nobody to try and steal it. You’re happy, as you play this really cool venue in front of a crowd of adoring fans. Unfortunately, this happiness is short lived as you feel a knife stab through your chest. You’ve committed a rock ‘n roll suicide! Not really, though. Someone else killed you. You collapse to the ground, bleeding, and look up to see who stabbed you. The person standing above you is none other then KEVIN, who has adorned new clothes to become a PUNK VERSION of himself. He returned to finally exact his revenge upon you once and for all, and he laughs as you die on stage, very tragically of course. And now he’s taken your fame, he now has all he could ever want. And what’s the moral of this story? Well, the only true moral here is that life can go downhill in as little time as 61 minutes, and that’s exactly what CLUTCH OF A FALCON sounds like.

Oh, and it’s all recorded by these three guys. And these three guys all play instruments, too. There’s JEBB, who plays guitar and yells and sings about seasons changing and stuff like that. Then there’s MATT, who plucks on the bass to make those sweet bass noises everyone loves. And finally there's EZRA, who bangs on the drums and just hits things. Sometimes he yells too. Together the three of them form a musical ensemble, otherwise known as a band. This band is named THE SANE RIOT, and this album is one of many by the band. It’s also their longest album too. So, just sit back and enjoy it while you still can.

credits

released July 7, 2020

Jebb
Vocals,Guitar,Tambourine,Cymbals

Matt
Bass, BG Vocals

Ezra
Drums, BG Vocals

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